We were initially just going to announce that we were pregnant and share a week later that it was twins but I changed my mind at the last minute. So these three were cute pics that we took for Plan A that I also wanted to share!
I’M PREGNANT! I can’t believe I am writing those words. It is so crazy. Like, as I write this, I am 6 weeks and there is a little pea sized baby with an actual beating heart in my body and I am growing a completely new organ that will sustain the little baby’s life while my body builds bones and a brain and eyeballs….maybe that is why I feel so completely exhausted lol. The hardest part so far is definitely trying to hide my complete exhaustion from people who don’t know yet. Alec and I are just grateful to have this little bundle of baby joy growing inside of me. It felt like we were trying forever but at the same time, we are so thankful that it only took as long as it did and that my medication did the job! We know that many people have to wait a lot longer and everyone’s journey is different yet feels very personal to them.
So let me catch you up to speed here– I went off the pill back in March after being on it for about 10 years. We were trying for quite a few months to no avail so after 6 months, I started going to Seattle Reproductive Medicine for some guidance. My cycle still hadn’t returned so after some extensive blood work and monitoring, they determined that I had PCOS, which, I kind of already figured. So they gave me some progesterone to kick-start my cycle then put me on letrozole to try and grow one of my little eggies big enough to actually ovulate. First round of letrozole didn’t work, so they doubled down and I did 4 more days of the letrozole. Turns out that’s what my body needed and they let me know that they grew! I was very impatient and also pretty confused because I didn’t know what to track before taking pregnancy tests. Do I track how many days since my last cycle? Since I thought I ovulated? Since the doctor said I might have ovulated? So basically I took a lot of tests…of course they all said no because it was too early to show up on an at-home test.
But on October 17, the morning of my friend’s wedding (which I was a bridesmaid in, nonetheless!), I woke up and felt sooo tired. Like a tired that I hadn’t felt– not an “I didn’t sleep well” tired or a sick tired. I also was super bloated which was weird because I generally don’t bloat and had been eating plenty healthy. I pushed my stomach down when joking with one of the girls about how I felt so puffy and it was super sore and I was like “uhhhh that’s not normal??”. In my bag I had 1 cheap little paper stick test and 1 expensive electric test that I had just thrown in there. I went into my friend’s bathroom and as you can see in the video, was in complete shock when I start to see a second line show up. I truly could not believe it AND I had to keep it down because there was a house full of girls getting ready for a very special day that I of course had to be present for. I chugged like 7 bottles of water so I could take the electric test and sure enough, “pregnant”. I did the very best I could the rest of the day to be the best bridesmaid I could be and be totally present for the bride but wow was I freaking out! And hello, how was I going to tell Alec who was on his way to Scottsdale with my parents.
I went back and forth about how to tell him because all this time, I have had a little pair of crocheted baby Yeezy’s that I was going to give him when I told him I was pregnant. Obviously I didn’t have those with me and obviously I couldn’t wait 3 more days to tell him! I was bursting at the seams as is! So after the wedding ceremony, I told him I wanted to get a picture of us on self-timer, was really taking a video, and finally got to say those two special words, “I’m pregnant”.
Hi, flash forward now to 12-week pregnant Heather. I had to come back to this post that I so naively typed up when I thought it was just one little itty bitty baby. Nope. TWINS. We are having twins. So, flash forward about 2 1/2 weeks after we found out we were pregnant when I go in to the fertility clinic for an ultrasound to confirm my pregnancy and what do my little eyes see, TWO BABIES. Because of covid, Alec wasn’t able to join me at that appointment so I was able to video tape it for him and captured the whole glorious, shocking moment on tape. Cue the complete and total panic (that is, after the initial shock wore off). Our babies are DiDi twins, meaning they are fraternal, not identical, and in their own separate sacs with their own placentas. So THAT explains the insane tiredness I’ve had….
If I’m being honest with you, I was somewhat inconsolable for about two days after finding out. And I just let myself be because I knew I needed to get it out of my system and my fear would turn to excitement. Even at 12-weeks, that is still a journey I am on and some moments I am like “wow I can’t believe we are having TWO babies 🤗” and others I’m like “I CAN’T believe we are having TWO BABIES 🤯”. Initially, I just felt so completely overwhelmed and like the situation was so out of my control. I knew that taking care of one newborn baby was going to be tough but I would find my rhythm and get into a groove and be able to carry on with my social life and personal life, etc. BUT THEN, once I knew it was twins, all I could think about was “how are we going to sleep with two newborn babies on different sleep schedules!?”, “how am I going to breastfeed two babies at once?!”, “how are we going to be able to go to a friend’s house for dinner or out to eat in public?”, “how am I going to be able to go to Target with two babies??”, “HOW big am I going to get?!”. Those are all pretty selfish ways of thinking but again, just being honest with what my thought process looked like.
So now, here we are. I am FINALLY sharing the news with you all, but we are also finally sharing the twin news with our friends and family! We have shared with them already that I am pregnant, but NOBODY (almost) knows that there are twins. It is a big surprise that we have been saving for our gender reveal, which is today, when I am posting this blog! Only our parents know, my aunt (who is doing the gender reveal), my boss knows, and one of my friends who I saw right after I found out and was about to have a full meltdown. Our siblings don’t know, our best friends don’t know, nobody. So I am seriously excited to share that reaction on YouTube.
This post ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would, haha. I guess these pregnant fingers move fast! I have a lot of content coming up in the next week or so….be sure to watch my Finding Out I’m Pregnant vlog and Finding Out it’s Twins vlog. Up next is Telling our Friends and Family (just that we’re pregnant, not that it’s twins), First Trimester Recap vlog, and Gender Reveal + Twin Surprise vlog!!
Thank you all for caring enough to follow this cRaZY journey with me and reading my rantings. I’m sure this won’t be the end of them 😂 Xx