Before I share my words of wisdom, here are some random iPhone pics from this past weekend in California where I got to be a bridesmaid in my dear friend Bliss’s wedding!
the funny thing is that we are both 99% sober in this pic but it doesn’t look like it lol ^ (also, do you like our fancy matching reception slides?)
Happy Thursday! Do you feel like this week went by fast?? Watch, once I post this, the next two days will move like molasses.
Buckle up. I wanted to share with you some thoughts, maybe some encouragement, or maybe just help pass five minutes of your day. I feel like I have had a bit of an epiphany in my life this past week and I’m sure I am not the only one who has felt like this. I’ve been struggling with something. It is the one thing that you can’t buy, can’t change, can’t get more of, are you ready for the cliché….TIME. Hear me out though….I was thinking back and realized that we have been living in WA now for 7 months, in our new apartment for 5 months (we mooched off my parent’s house for a hot second), I’ve been at my new job for 3 months and in all that time, there are so many things that I said I wanted to do once I found myself with the time to do so. WELL LET ME JUST SAY that I came to the “no-duh” epiphany in my life that I really don’t think I will ever feel totally settled or ready or refreshed enough or relaxed enough to “have the time” for the things on my list. And roll your eyes as you might, but this really was an epiphany for me. Let me tell you some of the things on that list…I wanted to cook some nice, new meals for dinner (until this week I hadn’t made one new recipe in the entire time we have been in our new place), I wanted to bake some treats (hadn’t baked one single thing since we moved until this week (yet I still managed to put on weight in that time hmm….#ThanksDeskJob)), I wanted to memorize new songs on the piano now that we have one in our apartment, I wanted to go to workout classes or run outside or just get back in shape, I wanted to organize my shelves and closet and drawers and LIFE, I want to continue my Mandarin language studies, I want to study wine theory and potentially get my level 1 Sommelier certification, I want to volunteer to teach cycle classes at my YMCA, I want to learn how to master the Adobe suites so I can create my own graphic designs, I want to kick butt at my job so I can be proud of myself and others will be proud of me (and leverage myself for a raise when the time comes lol), and I wanted to try to keep our little apartment cleaned up for once. Yet every night, I come home brain-dead after a long 9 hour day (I am a marketing manager and it is NO JOKE) and I plop on the couch and watch a show and then Alec comes home and we make dinner and then watch a show and then we clean the kitchen (sometimes) and I do stuff on my computer and then we go to bed and watch Youtube videos and go to sleep and do it all again the next day. I know…it sounds sickening and it makes me eyes hurt just typing out how much screen time they are getting every day. Let me make a side note at this point: I HATE TECHNOLOGY. I really in my gut don’t like it. I am not going to stop using it because that is just not a practical way to live your life in 2018 but holy cow it is just the worst and a total time-sucker and time-waster. Blek. I was going to bed SO frustrated every single night that I had wasted another day and hadn’t completed anything on “the list” and yet every.single.day it would happen again.
So maybe it was the fact that we went away to California last weekend and it shook us out of our routine and I saw the light, but something either snapped or clicked and I basically verbally said to myself “ok seriously what the heck enough of this”. I am a big fan of lists and am beginning to check things off. I found 5 new recipes online made a shopping list and went to the store Tuesday after work. I spent the whole evening (which is only like 4-5 hours from the time I get home to the time I get ready for bed) baking some cookies and meal prepping some different lunches. I didn’t watch any shows, but I did watch some youtube videos. Baby steps here people, I have a problem remember? Wednesday night I made more homemade food and I went to a spin class at the gym (why has nobody created a more comfortable cycling seat?! Those things are brutal). In perfect timing, Alec surprised me with Chrissy Teigen’s new cookbook (I was/ am obsessed with her first one. Best cookbook I have ever had) and a new Disney piano book. I’ve been dropping hints and being the intelligent man he is, thankfully he caught on.
Are you still reading? Ok, cool, almost done. So yes, this is a new “journey” for me (I sound like I’m on The Bachelor) but I will also tell you that try as I might to be a super woman, it doesn’t all get done in those 4 hours. Something’s gotta give and while I made some treats for my office, homemade soup for my husband, and sweat it out on a cycle for me, our apartment is a mess (Alec literally said it looked like a bomb went off) and I’m still repeating the same 4 Mandarin phrases in my head with no progression. But it’s ok. I am on such a high of trying to get everything done and doing whatever I can in my days and I’m sure I will crash and burn at some point (I’ll keep you posted) but for now I’m going to ride this wave and balance the fact that I am baking more with the fact that I want to lose 10 pounds. All in good time…
Heather Fern 