Marriage

New to Newlywed: 5 Rules for a Stronger Marriage

Happy New to Newlywed Wednesday! I hope you all loved the video ^^!! It was a fun one to make and I am very impressed with our junk food guessing abilities. I don’t know if that is good or bad though…..

I am sharing 5 things that I think are super fundamental to a happy newlywed life/ lifelong marriage. If you can start learning and putting into practice these five things as soooooon as possible, I really do think that your marriage is going to be 100% stronger than were you not to put effort in these areas. Obviously I am a  newlywed myself but I am merely sharing the tips and habits that having been working best for us this first year and how I see them playing out in the years to come!

  1. Attack Problems, Not Each Other
    • Marriage isn’t about who is right, it’s about being a team. Don’t waste your energy blaming one another in an argument. Instead, focus that energy on solving the problem at hand because there will always be things that go wrong and how you choose to handle them will define what kind of marriage you have.
  2. It’s Okay to Have Separate Interests
    • My dear sweet husband lives and breathes soccer. He loves watching all the international games and as hard as I may try, that just isn’t a passion of mine like it is his and that’s okay! While it’s important to share interests with your spouse, you don’t have to be involved in every single activity. Togetherness is important but so is having your own time.
  3. Set Aside Some Time Every Day to Connect With Each Other
    • My very favorite time of day is at night when we put away all the electronics and just sit in bed and talk about the day and make each other laugh and can just be totally comfortable with each other and destress. If you can learn to set this kind of time together aside early on, it will be a lot easier to keep your connection strong as time goes on or you start having kids (I assume, lol). Another fun habit we started last month is every night before bed, we tell each other why we loved them that day. I love it because of course it’s fun to hear why you are loved and share the same with your spouse, but you get to learn about what little things your spouse may have picked up on that you did or said that drew them closer to you that day.
  4. Get Your Finances Straight
    • I mean this is a duh, and something that is much more important than what I can piece together in a tiny paragraph. But financial issues are one of the highest causes of divorce and if you can establish a budget or pay off any debts as soon as possible, you are doing nothing but setting your marriage up for success. Just be proactive and open in your conversations about money and you’ll be just fine!
  5. Take Them For Who They Are, Not Who You Want Them To Be
    • Okay last one for today and I think it’s a really really important one. Getting married doesn’t change a person. People and their character and habits are fundamentally the same before and after they say “I do”. You can’t change your spouse and you shouldn’t want to if you really love them. Let them be themselves and don’t force them to change themselves just to fit a cookie cutter/ fairytale ideal of what you think a spouse should be. You married this person for better or for worse and hopefully, you should have known what you were getting into before you walked down that aisle. Time has a way of changing people, so if you love them unconditionally and without judgement, you will naturally continue to grow closer over the years.

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