So Alec and I dated for just over 3 years before we got married and now we are creeping up on 5 years of knowing each other! Of course, before you marry someone, you want to make sure that you know them really REALLY well, you know, before you commit the rest of your life to them!!! But in the past almost 8 months of marriage, it is crazy how much more I have learned about Alec. I’m sure that is super common and I probably heard that before I got married but when you experience it for yourself, it really is amazing. I’ve learned all sorts of random things like how badly a messy kitchen bothers him or what temperature he likes to sleep at or how tired he is in the mornings regardless of how much sleep he gets. But also a lot of deeper things which surprised me because you’d think that I would’ve really focused on the “deep things” before marrying him. Just like what motivates him at work and how he wants to provide for our family in the next five years and how we handle disagreements about little things (because that happens a lot more when you are actually married and living with someone)!
So if you aren’t married yet, then you are probably in the boat I was in reading about someone else’s experience with the learning curve. Don’t try to jump ahead and learn all these little details about your person beforehand because honestly, you can’t. There is a certain openness and vulnerability that comes with being married and knowing that you have committed to being with this person until you die haha! The learning curve will just naturally take place and while it can be frustrating here and there, I look back at these 8 months and am amazed at how much more love I have for Alec when I didn’t even think that was possible!
Heather Fern 